The Pileated Woodpecker is renowned for its pecking, much
like your neighbor’s relentless keyboard clicking. To drive this
incessant din from your mind requires studied practice, a steady
hand, and patience. When you can no longer bear the racket,
clear the edge of your desk and assume a reclining side position.
Allow your right hand to dangle just above the floor, and extend
your left hand limply towards the ceiling. One foot should
delicately touch the desktop. This is a purely defensive position
which offers temporary relief.