Archive for May, 2009

Tune Proximity Aversion - Rusty Blackbird Indexed Ear Position

21, May 2009

It is human nature to scorn music chosen by others. Perhaps
this is why musical appreciation seldom survives a cubicle wall.
Fortunately, the human brain can be trained to filter out unwanted
melodies, although it takes rigorous training. Start with the
Rusty Blackbird Indexed Ear [...]

Task Exuberance - River Crayfish Stride Position

19, May 2009

Excitement over a work assignment is uplifting, but excessive thrill
of duty can be harmful. As with many such conditions, finding
equilibrium is the key. To lower dangerously high enthusiasm
levels, and to reduce work adrenalin, a brisk power walk around
your desk is the best remedy. A zesty romp near the window may
help moderate [...]

Acquired Window Deficiency- Side-blotched Lizard Float Position

14, May 2009

The office with the coveted window usually becomes available
only with the retirement or death of a coworker, so being denied
this treasured piece of real estate can be a traumatic experience.
The only way to overcome this paralyzing distress is through
levitation, which requires both mental focus and [...]

Customer Symbiosis - Thompson Gazelle Extended Leg Stance

12, May 2009

Sometimes your office duties are expanded, requiring you to
engage in customer service. In such cases it is important to
remain detached, as cubicle workers have a tendency to be overly
generous, especially with returns or discounts. To dampen your
natural [...]

Boredom - Boreal Chickadee Inverted Chair Position

7, May 2009

With a brain the size of a walnut, the Boreal Chickadee does
little of interest to anyone. Nevertheless, this aptly named bird
provides both inspiration and diversion. As you raise your right
arm, breathe deeply through your left nostril and suck in a
torrent [...]

Keyboard Sensitivity Disorder - Pileated Woodpecker Sedentary Position

5, May 2009

The Pileated Woodpecker is renowned for its pecking, much
like your neighbor’s relentless keyboard clicking. To drive this
incessant din from your mind requires studied practice, a steady
hand, and patience. When you can no longer bear the racket,
clear the edge of your [...]


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